09/04/2015: It's my birthday, a good moment to look back

 

waiting at the airport

 

Birthdays always make me think of what is behind me and what is in front of me. Since I'm feeling soo rushed lately, time to sit down and mesmerise on the year that has passed. 

 

I experimented a lot in the last year, I'm shocked as I went over my blog posts since my last birthday, I did a lot of different things. Something I'm really proud of are my pinned and pull-off dresses, sculptures with a Burning Man-esque reflection, as they were destroyed after taking pictures. I have also experimented a lot with paint, paint I pulled off, pull-offs I reused, scratching away paint on glass, making a lot of sgraffito's... .

The biggest part of last year was consumed with searching and struggling for the pure abstraction (in the form of bubbles, drips, drops and dots) ... something I was able to let go. I have given up that battle, as to me, I keep seeing things in my abstract paintings. This insight gave me the courage to reintegrate figures and people into my artworks, but abstract elements are never that far away.

I started using images to paint on, I only realised recently that this is something I always have done, I used copies of pictures of birds flying in art school already, so that is nothing new. 

 

Now, let's reflect on the theme waiting that I have been taking on again recently. Waiting (or being stuck) is a theme I have used a lot in the past. It is one of my base themes. I consider flying-fleeing as my first base theme, which finds it's origin in art school, "birds" was the theme given to us in the last year, and I changed that theme into flying-fleeing (to abstractism). I used the bodies and spaces around the bodies of flying birds to make it concrete.

My second theme was fleeing, fleeing from reality. I used circles that represented woman with hoop dresses seen from above, that were running away. I also used endless stairs, like a labyrinth to reflect this theme ... I could watch these stair paintings endlessly, looking for a way out that wasn't there, which made me feel stuck and that brings me to the next theme.

My last base theme (until now) was the opposite of the previous: waiting, and being stuck in time. I have recently picked this up again, because it is consistent with the more figurative road I have chosen. Painting scenes of non-active, waiting personages. Waiting rooms and traffic jams ... . To me it is a very personal subject, I just hate waiting, I'm too impatient and restless. It's one of the reasons I haven't been to the cinema for over 15 years, it's also the reason I don't like to spend time on the sofa, to me that's a waist of time ... I don't like to do "nothing" and being passive.

 

Since I don't have a crystal ball, I don't know what the next year will bring, I can only guess. I have finally started working on establishing a sustainable art business, taking my art to a professional level. I believe I will succeed, but it might take me more than just one year. But then, I have a bunch of other talents to rely on. I'm already looking forward to step out of my studio, paint more, paint better and talk to others about my art. The future is bright! ;)